Why did I choose today to start writing? Because on this
special day, I have no one with me to celebrate. Before her, I preferred time
alone. Seclusion kept me safe in an otherwise cruel world. I don’t recall
choosing a withdrawn life over more pleasant options. It was all I had. It was
enough. But when we met, I set aside my lonely past to become part of her
world. She filled our days with excitement, adventure, and passion. She was
more than I ever thought to ask for, more than I wanted, more than I would ever
need. Without her, I was ignorant but satisfied. But, with her by my side, happiness
blossomed beyond imagination, as did the expectation that it would never end.
She died today. All I can do is write these words, telling the
world about her. Others might choose to cry in sorrow, but I welcome the tears
of laughter that tickle my cheek. I need no consolation, nor will I hold on to this
fantastic notion that she will wake me from this nightmare. Memories of our
time together fill my heart. They leave no room for regret that we will not
share another day. To focus on such despicable thoughts would slander her
legacy. These words are our reminder.
It is not just the drowning man who needs to be saved.
For a man who needs nothing, to find love is the greatest
gift.
Love is needed for the successful man to achieve greatness.
Love becomes essential if the satisfied man is to find joy.
With love, a man is prepared to follow when he already knows
the way. Time will come when they brilliantly walk side-by-side. The time may
come when he must carry her further. Now it is time to continue my journey
alone.
I am already slipping from the reality we shared but,
please, strike me hard if a day ever comes when I pity myself because she is no
longer here. Curse me if I pretend for a moment that she did not supply me with
more than I will ever need.
No, I promise to share the only returns she ever asked of me
in exchange for her love.
Smiles.
Laughter.
Memories.
